Speed Dating...Chipotle Style

Dear Chipotle Headquarters,

I hope you liked my crayon drawing of the sunset. I would also like to thank you for your patience waiting for this letter since I did not write one last week. I have been reassigned to a different project at work that requires 10 to 12-hour days which leaves little room for my favorite pastime- Chipotle daydreaming.

Even with my new soul crushing project role, I have found time to satisfy my ever so craving lust towards Chipotle’s mouth-water entrees. Just this week, I went to the Bellevue Chipotle four times. I have to say, my Guacamole chaperon wasn’t too amused at my ‘Rocking out with my Guac out’ joke during my third visit. I thought it was funny, but I digress.

My friends recently brought it to my attention that my benchmark unit of measurement for currency is the price of a Chicken Burrito with Guac. Ringing up to $10.56, I convert each item price to its equivalent Chipotle Burrito buying power ratio. To be honest, I didn’t even know I was doing this until they called me out on stating how many Burritos my paycheck can buy. Turns out not everyone does this.

In the past couple months, I have been trying to find a potential suitor to accompany me on my frequent trips to Chipotle. I started with Tinder but none of the girls I matched with wanted to have a “guac-tastic time”. One of the girls thought I meant “gym-tastic” time and invited me to a CrossFit class. I replied that “I love fitness. Fitness whole Chipotle burrito in my mouth” which she never responded to. I decided to try my luck somewhere else after this encounter. After extensive web research and personal experience, I decided to hang outside Chipotle and try to pick up local singles going into Chipotle. This way, I already know they like Chipotle which is my biggest criteria. After about an hour, one of the Chipotle Staff Members came out and said I needed to leave.

I will let you know how my second Chipotle speed dating session goes!

LOVE,

Steven A. deCsesznak