I Like Coffee Too

Dear Chipotle Headquarters,

Hope you enjoyed the mixtape I sent you! As a general reminder, a fire extinguisher might be needed due to the amount of fire it contains. 🔥

Apologies for the delay, these past couple weeks have been eventful to say the least.

In the past two weeks, I have frequented multiple Chipotle establishments. My networking efforts have been lackluster, so I decided to broaden my horizons. Although I felt guilty of chipoltery, I always left fully satisfied. During one visit, I asked the Burrito keeper behind the counter to add some updog to my burrito. She was not amused and neither was I with that reaction. One of my life mottos is “When in doubt, double down” which is exactly what I did. When I got to the gentlemen behind the POS, I asked for a side goodfam expecting a “Whats Good Fam” response but was only met with “We ran out of that yesterday”. Needless to say, I cried all night.

I tried to use a coffee filter as a mask, but the Walmart greeter told me I could not enter. I calmly asked her to please not talk to me before my morning coffee but was quickly interrupted by a security guard trying to escort me out. I quickly retorted that words cannot espresso how sorry I was but was dragged out anyways. Oh well, I don’t give a Frappe.

I find it ironic I need to wear a mask to get money from a bank.

Warm Regards,

Steven A. deCsesznak